Ever thought of ways to deal with your Ex?
Most of us have at least one former partner in our lives. Sometimes these relationships are smooth and sometimes the lines between ex and extremely bothersome may be blurred for one or two reasons. Here are some tips we have gathered to help you make that relationship work without hurting and leaving around your ex.
1. Be patient.
There’s usually uncomfortable fallout from most relationships so give your ex (and yourself) a little space to make appropriate adjustments. Some situations need time for proper adjustment to be made. When you at fault, it becomes very difficult to even simply admit it like that especially in the heat of an argument. Let time make the difference!
2. Don’t threaten, name call or belittle your ex.
Having a mature and respectful relationship with your ex is good for you, for them and for your current relationship. If you are not in a place where you can be emotionally stable around (or about) your ex then communicate via e-mail or through a third party until you (or they) have calmed down.
3. Use soothing words and tones.
Getting upset and angry is not going to help you get your point across. Remember that there are probably some hurt feelings lingering so the more gentle you are (without becoming a doormat) the more likely you will arrive at a mutually beneficial decision.
4. Don’t flaunt your new partner.
If you have found someone new (or when you do) keep them out of the “business dealings” with your ex. These kinds of triangles can be painful for both the old and the new partner. It will make your life more difficult if one or the other sets up roadblocks because he or she is feeling insecure or angry.
5. Don’t put down your ex in front of others.
If you speak in a derogatory fashion about someone you once loved, those close to you may fear that you will talk about them in the same manner.
6. Be friends (it’s okay).
As long as your behaviour is appropriate and you don’t favour your ex over your children or current partner, being friends with an ex can be a good thing. It shows your kids how mature adults should behave and helps both families deal with the inevitable speed-bumps that occur along life’s highway.
7. A little distance is also good.
Make sure you set proper boundaries with your ex and are open with your new partner about how you want to deal with your previous relationship. Having everyone on the same page will prevent destructive events from occurring.
Letting uncomfortable feelings about a past relationship rule your life is such a waste of time and energy. Your ex still has a few good qualities so keep those in mind when you communicate. Usually if someone is treated with the respect he or she will return the favour.
Learn your lessons and focus on the good that’s yet to come. Holding on to anger and resentment will only serve to bring everyone down.
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